Purpose? What purpose? There is none. Don’t let it worry though, or you’re just where you started. The purpose of living is nonexistent. Is there a purpose of a beautiful day? No and it doesn’t need one. It just is. If you wake up and the day is perfect, would you waste it wondering why it happened? No, you’d simply enjoy it. Life is, with or without your input on why. So, enjoy it.
You awaken. Last thing you remember is receiving transmission that a foreign airstrike was on its way to your location. Trying to understand where you are, you start to walk around, but nothing seems to change.
“Hello?” You ask, “Is anyone here?”
Silence piles over the already soul sucking silence
Your stationary feeling fades. You descend into a familiar room. You can’t put your finger on it until you’re completely there. It’s the room you lived in when you were a child. Sky blue walls, tan carpet, a paned window overlooking the street and neighborhood. All of your old furniture is gone, in its place is a small, brushed metal chair in the center of the room. You don’t understand.
Silence falls again.
Out of nowhere, the door opens. A man walks into the room. He looks you in eye with such kindness you haven’t felt in years. It reminds you of your mother’s comfort.
“Please, sit.” He softly says as he gestures to the chair.
“Uh…who are you?” You suspiciously ask as you slowly sit.
The man lets out a warm chuckle.
“I’m Godfrey Smith.”
As he spoke, kindness filled your entire body.
“Godfrey?” You laugh to yourself.
“Yes, sir, but most people just tend to call me God.”
Your emotions rush. Thoughts fly through your head. “Is this really God? Did I die? Is this heaven?”
Suddenly, you’re no longer in your room. It seems as if you transcended into a bright, cloud filled place.
“You’re God?” Trying to go through all of your questions one at a time.
“Well, I’m your God. I was billions’ God a minute ago, but for now, I’m yours.”
“So, you’re the Almighty Creator? The Alpha a—“
“and the Omega?” he finished for you.
“Yeah…”
“I’m whoever you think I am.”
“Okay, I’m confused.”
He smiles gently places his hand on your shoulder and says, “Aren’t you all?”
A bright flash blinds you.
How wonderous they are. The silver majestic beauties amazes so that I had to believe they were a gift from the heavens above. Oh, when they appear, my heart suddenly warms and through all of the excitement of the moment, I’ll sometimes let out a giggle. I feel nothing but pure happiness flowing through my body when they come, and thankfully, that comforting feeling stays when they leave. In times of sadness and pitiful sorrow, they’ll appear, as if their only purpose was to induce happiness. I have yet to understand the curiosity of these beautiful things. Whatever they are, wherever they come from, I know that when I feel nothing but depression in this new world of mine, when I cannot escape this enclosing cell, they will come for comfort. Every jingle, every jangle pulls me farther away from my sad, black pit.
Ah, the Age of Information. This is one of the greatest times of humanity as many have said. Is it really, though? I don’t believe so. Want to know what’s wrong with this Age of Information? You know everything. I hate this. I am comfortable with the part of knowing everything that you need. You can learn almost everything that you want to on the internet, and this is amazing. This is the highest advantage of this age. What you don’t care to know, need to know, or want to know is what makes me crazy. I used to love going on people’s Facebook or Twitter and just learning things about them. I didn’t do this to stalk them, (while the term that people use for it is “stalk”, it’s nowhere close to the legal offense of stalking.) but rather to learn about them. It was like asking about someone without having to go through all of the social contact with their friends or having to face the question why I wanted to know. The best part of it all? People hide almost nothing online, either that or absolutely everyone is very, very good at having false personas. You could find Fred Johnson on Facebook, and learn so much about him. That was the thrill of it all, knowing what others didn’t know you knew. This is absolutely fine with strangers, but, with everything else, I wanted to do more. I started learning about my more distant friends first, then I moved on to my friends, and finally I learned about my best friends. Learning about a stranger is so much different than learning about your friends, distant or close. You don’t know how a stranger acts in real life, but reading what they say online gives you some sense of who they are.
Remember what I said about how people hide nothing? Many people would disagree with this. What they think I mean by this is that people tell the absolute truth online. No. People lie about what they do or who they made out with, but their core personalities are still there. This is what you see on online profiles. You notice how the way they type changes, how they convey things changes, how they converse with people changes, but the one thing that almost never changes is who they are. Most people, who haven’t gone through some intense therapy or brain surgery, keep the same personalities over long periods of time, and who they are changes gradually. Most people never notice this. This is why you can lose a best friend of ten years so suddenly. Most people try to think that it was their friend that changed so quickly, but both people changed over a course of time. When a catalyst was added to their friendship, one of them noticed how different they were from each other, and just ends the friendship. The personal contact is what shrouds the changes both people undergo. You both try to act like who you were at the height of your friendship, but not consciously, which is why most people never notice it before it’s too late. This is where the Age of Information comes into play.
With that shroud removed, you get to see what that person has become since you’ve known them. This is what differentiates a stranger and a friend when you do this. If you looked through a stranger’s entire internet history, all of their social media sites, and learned all of that, you would have an idea of what this person would be like in real life and possibly an idea of who they are, but the one thing that you wouldn’t get to know is how they’ve changed. You can do this with friends. A friend of 20 years has only been a friend on a social media site for probably on 10 years. You got to know this person through physical contact and emotional bonding, and this is what the basis of your friendship is. When you start to create friends through the internet, the physical contact is completely gone and the emotional bonding is still there, but highly diminished. Sure, you can talk to your best friend on Facebook about his girlfriend cheating on him with a lifeguard, but no matter what, it cannot beat the physical contact that a hug to a friend provides. This is why most friendships based completely on internet interaction don’t last very long unless you are nearly 100% compatible with each other. You’ll get to know the person, but not as fully as you could with being in person.
The shroud that prevents people from noticing changes in their best friend is what also strengthens a friendship. If a friendship is very weak, this shroud will decide to show the weakness in a very clever way. It’ll show how different your friend is from you. It’s very smart. The shroud know that best friends always will be able to end the friendship because of one thing or another, but it wants to keep the friendship intact by hiding these kind of things. When you have a friendship online, it’s not like being with them in person. This shroud is gone. You get to know absolutely everything about this person, even the things this shroud works so hard to hide. No matter how good of friends two people are, when they have some of their roots on the internet, something will come up from the darkness of secrecy and end the friendship. Selective truths are a good thing when they are chosen wisely. It’s human nature to hide things, but on the internet, nothing will be hidden. These hidden things will become discovered by someone in a friendship and just make the entire friendship seem like a complete lie. A few of my best friendships have ended this way. Some were from my digging up of secrets and some others were of their doing. It’s just a complete mess to anyone.
This mess that is create by this worshiped Age of Information is what I hate about it. I have recently deleted all of my social media sites, so that my friendships and current relationship won’t be ruined by my or their human nature. I don’t want any future friendships to be ruined by something stupid that the shroud was unable to block. I have trust in all of my friends and my girlfriend, but with the ability to find things that I wouldn’t have been told, my trust was being diminished. I would always find small little things that I wasn’t told on my friends’ profiles that just bugged me. This was especially true with my relationship. I never would lose trust in my girlfriend, but just knowing that there are things that people hide yet display it to everyone is what really bothers me. I have always disliked this about the internet. I wanted my complete trust back in all of my friends and my girlfriend, so I simply deleted my social media sites like that. I have seen a lot of improvement in my trust with them. I have had a couple urges to look through their pages, but I’ve held them back. Now that I don’t get those urges anymore, I feel more free. I don’t feel like I need to know what they update or tweet about, but I feel like everything that we talk about is what we need to talk about. It’s an amazing feeling. I highly suggest that anyone who feels like their trust is being lessened by social media sites should deactivate their pages for just a week, and see how it feels to be free and more connected. Strange, isn’t it? I feel more connected to my friends by disconnecting myself.
Answers—those are what everyone spends their whole lives looking for isn’t it? As if it’s the true purpose for us humans to find every answer to every question ever thought of. What people tend to forget, however, are the things that led them to that life long quest—the questions. A question can be the most powerful things ever created. All of the guns, war machines, and bombs powerful enough to destroy entire races are in the evervast shadow of a question.
Everything begins as a question, and everything ends with a result, a conclusions, an answer. “Should I talk to her?” ends with the rest of your life that girl or the regret of not asking. Questions don’t need to be answered, just thought about, and pondered on. No one will truly be happy with an answer to the everso quoted question, “Which came first—the chicken or the egg?”, even thought there are only two possible answers.
It’s the thought, time, and devotion that we choose to dedicate to questions that make answers seem so important as we make them. That answer would never have existed if a question wasn’t posed in the first place. We put so much emphasis on answers that we forget what was being answered in the first place. Besides, after we get an answer what keeps it from changing? You could have a thousand different answers, but only one question would be needed to spark the ideas that would ultimately lead to the discovery of an answer.
I ran. They told me that it was nothing, but they are deluded. It’s there inside. I know. I try to convince myself that is doesn’t exist, that it is just a part of fantasy, but I can’t. I go to it, and I hear it. I know that the beast is there inside, but they don’t believe. Every time I near it, I clench up all inside, the tears run down my face, and I feel Death awaiting me. Its growl is more terrifying than death itself; it’s presence would induce fear into the devil himself. I am caught into this illusion of it being the end of everything. Perhaps if I show it that the fear I have exists no longer, it would vanish into oblivion. I shall try.
Here I am, approaching the beast’s cave. I open the entrance to it. My heart quickens in pace. My feet freeze onto the ground. The only movements on my body are the tears fleeing from this demonic being. I search for the thing that would be my last sight, but it’s nowhere there. I have no clue why it wouldn’t be here this time. My mind must be playing tricks on me. I’ll enter this gate to hell. I see nothing but the darkness of my soon to be death. Why would this monster flee? I’m nothing more than a feather to him. He’s surely destroyed things much mightier than me, but he isn’t here. He must be on a hunt for something to satisfy his stomach. I’ll come back tomorrow. I walk back to my bed to sleep.
This sleep was much better than any sleep I have ever had before. It must be my trust that the monster wasn’t there when I slept. The day passed faster than any other had before. The sun fell as my stomach did. My fear rose higher than the moon that replaced the sun. I entered the beast’s cave again to find nothing as I did last night. I can’t believe it. Why would this monster that was there for my whole life be gone all of a sudden? There must be a reasonable explanation. The only one that I can think of is that the demon wasn’t there in the first place. No, it was, but not in the cave as I thought. It was in my mind. My courage to seek it is what killed it. I will no longer have worries of it finding me. I am victorious in this fight. No monster shall find its home in my closet any more.
Life can be a super frustrating bitch sometimes. If you’re alive, you’ve experienced this before. You just want to give it all up. Life’s a thunderstorm from your perspective, and there’s no sign of happiness. You think, “Nothing could possibly be good in life. Why not just end it all?” I’ve been through this. Obviously, I’ve never bowed to my feelings, but I’ve wanted to. The one thing that kept me from doing anything I’d regret, or even something that I wouldn’t be able to, was the thing causing my pain and my misery—Life. She can be a cruel bitch sometimes, but she’s unimaginably clever. She wants you to live to the fullest, yet she causes you despair, sometimes for no reason at all. Why? The answer is in the question. You can’t live life to its fullest if you’re bored with it, so Life does this clever little trick where she makes you extremely sad. You’re on the verge of the unforgivable sin, so you reconcile about why you haven’t acted on this verge before. You think about why life was worth living and why it still is. Once you’ve crossed this fence, you’re the happiest you’ve been in a while. Haven’t you noticed that? You get so depressed, but once you get out of that state, you are in one of the best moods ever. This newfound happiness motivates you to strive for the things worth living for. It makes you live. You need to be sad to appreciate happiness. You need to consider suicide to live your life. That is why Life is a crazy bitch. She’ll break your leg so that the girl of your dreams could sign your cast. She’ll hit you with a car so the legal settlement will keep you debt free for the rest of your life. That crazy bitch is the best thing you have, so don’t waste it.
